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I feel like I don't fit into my family a
 
Dhampy  posted on Nov 22, 2009 8:38:40 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by saurabhfzd

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

No you don't. You're an adult, you can simply choose not to go.

its not as easy as u might think. i come from a very orthodox/traditional part of the world. there's plenty for the sake of the family and duty that i've had to do...but didn't like at all. it gets complicated...even as adults...not always black/white...plenty of shades of grey too.

No, it is that easy. You just don't go. If they're really your FAMILY, then they will accept it and forgive. If they don't, they're just people you're related to and aren't worth dealing with.

I know it is just that but the fact is that your parents or whoever will get ****ed @ you and many a times quite badly for not going because the issue is not that you are going or not but whether you are following your Duties of meeting someone (dubbed your "loved ones" even if they practically just know our names). So the thing is that its just hard to weigh your wishes against the the thought that you would always like to keep your parents happy. (Even though I doubt that it would be possible ver)...

Then they're not really your FAMILY, in the true implications of the word. They're just the people who donated genetic material.

 
saurabhfzd  posted on Nov 22, 2009 8:40:11 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by saurabhfzd

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

No you don't. You're an adult, you can simply choose not to go.

its not as easy as u might think. i come from a very orthodox/traditional part of the world. there's plenty for the sake of the family and duty that i've had to do...but didn't like at all. it gets complicated...even as adults...not always black/white...plenty of shades of grey too.

No, it is that easy. You just don't go. If they're really your FAMILY, then they will accept it and forgive. If they don't, they're just people you're related to and aren't worth dealing with.

I know it is just that but the fact is that your parents or whoever will get ****ed @ you and many a times quite badly for not going because the issue is not that you are going or not but whether you are following your Duties of meeting someone (dubbed your "loved ones" even if they practically just know our names). So the thing is that its just hard to weigh your wishes against the the thought that you would always like to keep your parents happy. (Even though I doubt that it would be possible ver)...

Then they're not really your FAMILY, in the true implications of the word. They're just the people who donated genetic material.

blunt..but...true.

 
Tri_Edge_1836  posted on Nov 22, 2009 9:10:45 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by saurabhfzd

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

No you don't. You're an adult, you can simply choose not to go.

its not as easy as u might think. i come from a very orthodox/traditional part of the world. there's plenty for the sake of the family and duty that i've had to do...but didn't like at all. it gets complicated...even as adults...not always black/white...plenty of shades of grey too.

No, it is that easy. You just don't go. If they're really your FAMILY, then they will accept it and forgive. If they don't, they're just people you're related to and aren't worth dealing with.

I know it is just that but the fact is that your parents or whoever will get ****ed @ you and many a times quite badly for not going because the issue is not that you are going or not but whether you are following your Duties of meeting someone (dubbed your "loved ones" even if they practically just know our names). So the thing is that its just hard to weigh your wishes against the the thought that you would always like to keep your parents happy. (Even though I doubt that it would be possible ver)...

Then they're not really your FAMILY, in the true implications of the word. They're just the people who donated genetic material.

But you are thank full for having donated that amount of genetic material and having gone throught the experience of bringing up someone including the food,clothes,house etc etc(me in my case). An this thought limits you from completely rebelling against them.

 
saurabhfzd  posted on Nov 22, 2009 9:15:54 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

quote:
originally posted by saurabhfzd

quote:
originally posted by Dhampy

No you don't. You're an adult, you can simply choose not to go.

its not as easy as u might think. i come from a very orthodox/traditional part of the world. there's plenty for the sake of the family and duty that i've had to do...but didn't like at all. it gets complicated...even as adults...not always black/white...plenty of shades of grey too.

No, it is that easy. You just don't go. If they're really your FAMILY, then they will accept it and forgive. If they don't, they're just people you're related to and aren't worth dealing with.

I know it is just that but the fact is that your parents or whoever will get ****ed @ you and many a times quite badly for not going because the issue is not that you are going or not but whether you are following your Duties of meeting someone (dubbed your "loved ones" even if they practically just know our names). So the thing is that its just hard to weigh your wishes against the the thought that you would always like to keep your parents happy. (Even though I doubt that it would be possible ver)...

Then they're not really your FAMILY, in the true implications of the word. They're just the people who donated genetic material.

But you are thank full for having donated that amount of genetic material and having gone throught the experience of bringing up someone including the food,clothes,house etc etc(me in my case). An this thought limits you from completely rebelling against them.

yes..that's exactly y..it stops us from rebelling against them. which is what we expect from our kids too..that maybe...they'll show half as much respect and restraint when their time comes.

 
Neo7  posted on Nov 22, 2009 9:34:30 AM - Report post

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I feel like I don't fit into the world.
 
QueenNic  posted on Nov 22, 2009 9:38:34 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by L

I feel like I don't fit into the world.

You're not the only one.

@ emmerdale: Get really hungover. Then you won't have to go.

[Edited by FFQueen92, 11/22/2009 9:40:24 AM]

 
Tri_Edge_1836  posted on Nov 22, 2009 9:43:08 AM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by L

I feel like I don't fit into the world.

@ L - Why do you feel that??????

[quote]yes..that's exactly y..it stops us from rebelling against them. which is what we expect from our kids too..that maybe...they'll show half as much respect and restraint when their time comes.[quote/]

@ saurabh : I think I dffer with you on that....
I think the problem here arises comes up because the parents (and probably me too if I become One) deep down in our Hearts want the same amount of respect and what-not that we have given our won. But this is probably decreasing through the different generations. hence the balance is always one-sided...

 
Neo7  posted on Nov 22, 2009 11:49:08 AM - Report post

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Because I have experience points in that area.
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