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Posted: Feb 01, 2011 6:28:14 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

 quote:
 originally posted by Foxxie-kun:

LoG, I'm gonna say, when I first broke up with my ex, it broke my heart. Then along came the man I will have been with for two years next month, and he still makes my days brighter and happier.

If you find a guy who seems perfect, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure that he treats you and himself with respect and affection, but never tries to be overly controlling or possessive.

Also, the old addage "Treat others as you wish to be treated" is the best advice for intimate relationships at any age. If you treat him with an overly clingy and velcro-style attraction, he will more often than not become irritated with the clinging and over-attachment, but you also shouldn't put too much distance.

If you lead him by example, and treat him in a way you wish him to treat you, he will very often subconsciously pick up on your wants and needs and reciprocate the affections you show him.

Relationships are a very delicate balancing act of loving yourself, and loving another. Love yourself too much over the other, and he/she will see one as vain and self-centered. Love him at the expense of loving yourself, and he'll see you as overly dependent upon his affections and far too clingy.

Finally, don't hide behind a mask. You need to wear as much of yourself out on your sleeves as you can in the early stages of a relationship, especially bigger quirks and oddities (My mate loves me despite my overly talkative and very passionate view of politics and society), which were apparent since we first met (Which was a couple years before we got together intimately even).

I think that is the best advice that I have seen on this topic.

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Posted: Jun 24, 2011 9:48:10 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

Well Foxxie-kun is a sweetie. =3 I love him.

And, yes, I forgot who said it (<.<) but I do tend to talk about complete strangers about my ideas. Isn't that why we have chat/messageboards??

I have had another relationship that also failed. Maybe I just wasn't doing something right, idk. And Foxxie, I don't hide behind a mask. Of anything. If you can't accept me, then fine. I hate make-up btws. I'm going to contradict myself when I say that girls who wear make-up wear it because they don't think they're beautiful without it. I do not see myself as a beautiful young gal.

At least I have experience with dating, right? My friend Mike always tells me that I just throw myself at guys. I don't, but I can be a huge flirt. Which has led me to knowing more guys than I do girls. A large number of them have come to grow on me.

Okay, so I have a shortish true story and some follow-up questions for you to help out my friend Jeremy and I :

Jeremy was a new guy at this dojo I go to. He's a black belt in tai kwon do from a club a little ways away from me. So, I start hesitantly talking to him, getting to know him better. We trained a lot together, and I swear the guy acts like he's a [stereotypical--I do not aim to offend ANYONE--] gay guy over half the time XD But he always made me laugh. So, I was dating a guy named Josh at the time, and when there was a tournament up in PA, I went mostly because tournaments are FUN and to see Jeremy. Well, he knows that I know that he likes me, and I've grown to like him. But he wanted me to choose between him and Josh, and I couldn't answer. I didn't know what to say. So he figured I picked Josh. Josh dumped me harshly back in May. So I asked out Jeremy about 2 weeks later, when I had gotten over it. I gave him a week to think about it, and I won't lie, I kept pestering him about his answer. He kept saying if I made him answer when he wasn't ready he was gonna say no. Well, about a week later, he says no. Now, I'm sitting there thinking WTF?? Like, really? And guess what? A day later, A DAY, his sig says (I love Courtney<3) And I'm thinking, "What is this guy's problem??" I ended up learning from his closest friend Ian that Jeremy has been in a relationship with all of his past gfs at least 4 or 5 times by now. I was shocked, and I asked why that was. He said simply because Jeremy just loses interest, and that once his realtionship with Courtney ended (again) He'd come back to me after a while.

Q: 1. If his relationship DOES end, and Jeremy comes back, should I take him?

Q: 2. How could you possibly just randomly lose interest in a person, then want to get back together with them? For 4 or 5 times for a few different girls?? What is he trying to do, sample a buffet??

Q: 3. Have any of you guys done something like what Jeremy tried to pull on me?

Thank you for reading this and [possibly--hey, I don't know your actions] taking the time to answer. I greatly appreciate it.

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Kanojo wa tochi no ma de chinmoku no naka de kanojo no ken o ageta no yo ni kuroi bara ga kiri no bokuso-chi ni ochita.

The black roses fell upon the misty meadows as she raised her sword in silence across the land.
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Posted: Jun 25, 2011 4:14:06 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

Q1 - From what you have said, don't even go near him
Q2 - Mental illness
Q3 - No, I am a bit more sane
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Posted: Jun 25, 2011 6:46:53 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

 quote:
 originally posted by Shibby:

Q1 - From what you have said, don't even go near him
Q2 - Mental illness
Q3 - No, I am a bit more sane

Q1 As above.
Q2 Not definitely. I know quite a few guys who have done that, though not quite that many times or with as many girls. I have no idea why. I've heard the excuse 'I still like you but I'm not ready for a relationship right now' more times than I care to mention.
Q3 I'm a girl. Not that girls won't do that kind of thing too, I've also seen that happen. But I wouldn't, it just seems selfish and pointless.

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Posted: Jun 26, 2011 9:37:38 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

 quote:
 originally posted by xxjjrockerxx:

 quote:
 originally posted by Shibby:

Q1 - From what you have said, don't even go near him
Q2 - Mental illness
Q3 - No, I am a bit more sane

Q1 As above.
Q2 Not definitely. I know quite a few guys who have done that, though not quite that many times or with as many girls. I have no idea why. I've heard the excuse 'I still like you but I'm not ready for a relationship right now' more times than I care to mention.
Q3 I'm a girl. Not that girls won't do that kind of thing too, I've also seen that happen. But I wouldn't, it just seems selfish and pointless.

I agree with both of you, and Shibby, your response sounds like something my friend Mike would say haha.

I agree, jrocker; girls would not do that, especially me. That is selfish, and it is indeed pointless because what are you going to do when the time comes to choose someone out of 5 people you've had an off/on relationship with? If you ask me, they're annoying.

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Kanojo wa tochi no ma de chinmoku no naka de kanojo no ken o ageta no yo ni kuroi bara ga kiri no bokuso-chi ni ochita.

The black roses fell upon the misty meadows as she raised her sword in silence across the land.
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