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How To Deal With...
 
Unbreakable  posted on Jan 18, 2011 8:18:50 PM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by Latiosmaster47

My advice would be to try to forget the bad, remember the good, and not take advice from random people on the internet who may or may not have even been in a relationship before.

I second and third this advice.

But i remember last year i used my blog on here to vent about my breakup, and it got easier to deal with after i got it out and talked about it. Somehow complete strangers were easier to talk to than anyone i know.

There is some good voice in here. I remember being 14 and the best advice i can think to pass off right now, is that your world isn't over. I get that you're probably over it, or near there, hopefully, and just move on. It's a lot easier than you think. If they were special, it'll still feel weird talking to them or seeing them with someone else, but it's not the end of the world. There is the right guy out there for you somewhere; and you will find him. Your world just opens up after highschool, so don't worry if you don't find the right guy right away.

 
RageaholicRick  posted on Jan 18, 2011 11:21:31 PM - Report post

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I may not have the most experience with relationships as I have only had 1 that lasted about 2 months. But I have watched alot of relationships and know what some woman look for.
 
latios_power  posted on Jan 19, 2011 6:11:31 AM - Report post

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You have to know that there are things in life that are more important than relationships, don't take relationships as a life changing thing, just get over it and move on and hope for the best, we will die in the end anyways so stop wasting time and enjoy your life.
 
jediIStheWAY  posted on Jan 19, 2011 7:58:03 AM - Report post

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I cant give much advice as the girlfriend I had when I was 14 is still my girlfriend now and thats 2 years on. I think all I can say is never take them for granted (I vaguely remember Insom telling me that two years ago).

Also if you have a problem then work through it don't just argue about it for days on end. Relationships aren't meant to be easy they are some of the hardest things. When you meet someone truly special you will realise that they are when they first really hurt you. When I was first truly hurt by my girlfriend, I was extremely angry and confused but not at her. It was because I had realised that in my head and in my heart I had forgiven her straight away.

All I can say is the chances your going to meet someone at this age who you want to be with for the rest of your life is very slim. Your fourteen enjoy being single and just enjoy life. One day you will meet someone yet its impossible to say when.

 
LifeOfGaming  posted on Jan 21, 2011 1:27:58 PM - Report post

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Thanks everyone.

I really need a positivity boost right now, since I'm pretty depressed. Not so much over him, since I've decided to just ignore him, but because I just don't want to deal with a guy's sh*t I have to deal with in a relationship right now.

I'm staying away from relationships for a long time.

 
Xextreem  posted on Jan 21, 2011 2:32:24 PM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by LifeOfGaming

Thanks everyone.

I really need a positivity boost right now, since I'm pretty depressed. Not so much over him, since I've decided to just ignore him, but because I just don't want to deal with a guy's sh*t I have to deal with in a relationship right now.

I'm staying away from relationships for a long time.

Not to long just don`t go to hard with a new "relationship" just do whatever you like if he don`t like it dumb him. And move on till you find a man thats love you in all the faction not only "body love" or "money" but ho you are. good luck

 
jediIStheWAY  posted on Jan 22, 2011 1:20:47 AM - Report post

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In reply to Xextreem I would say when you do start having relationships again do not do whatever you like and if he doesn't like dumb them. How would you feel if a boy did that to you.

Sure don't let him restrict and push you around, but don't just do whatever you like and not care for how he feels. It's hard to explain and people at your age (not saying you personally) tend to think that if something isn't working in a relationship then the relationship should be over, they also expect no arguments and no fallings out.

I would say don't expect a serious relationship which has potential to last anytime soon unless your lucky and meet them when your 14 which is rare but does happen.

 
Foxxie-kun  posted on Jan 22, 2011 5:45:10 PM - Report post

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LoG, I'm gonna say, when I first broke up with my ex, it broke my heart. Then along came the man I will have been with for two years next month, and he still makes my days brighter and happier.

If you find a guy who seems perfect, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure that he treats you and himself with respect and affection, but never tries to be overly controlling or possessive.

Also, the old addage "Treat others as you wish to be treated" is the best advice for intimate relationships at any age. If you treat him with an overly clingy and velcro-style attraction, he will more often than not become irritated with the clinging and over-attachment, but you also shouldn't put too much distance.

If you lead him by example, and treat him in a way you wish him to treat you, he will very often subconsciously pick up on your wants and needs and reciprocate the affections you show him.

Relationships are a very delicate balancing act of loving yourself, and loving another. Love yourself too much over the other, and he/she will see one as vain and self-centered. Love him at the expense of loving yourself, and he'll see you as overly dependent upon his affections and far too clingy.

Finally, don't hide behind a mask. You need to wear as much of yourself out on your sleeves as you can in the early stages of a relationship, especially bigger quirks and oddities (My mate loves me despite my overly talkative and very passionate view of politics and society), which were apparent since we first met (Which was a couple years before we got together intimately even).

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