Elite entered "PASSWORD". After a few seconds of torturous waiting, the screen said "PASSWORD ACCEPTED". "What are the odds of that working?" Serivor asked. Serivor entered the Data Packet into the Transporter Drive, and after a few clicks, it dissolved into thin air. "Okay, now how do we get out of here?" Serivor asked "Oh ****, I didn't think that far ahead. Man, what a mistake on my part. What do you suggest we do?" "Well, I th- wait, what? You're asking my opinion on wh-" "STICK 'EM UP!" called a loud, obnoxious, voice. Elite was confused. He knew that voice. Then it dawned on him who it was. Paradox walked in with his shirt bloodied, surrounded by a troop of at least 10 guards. Each had a laser pointed at either Elite or Serivor. "Where's planb?!" Serivor asked in a harsh shout. "Dead. In the corner of that drug store." Paradox replied. "Why?" Elite asked. "Why did you do it? You've been with in my squad for three years." "Same reason I joined your squad. I like to win. At the time, the rebels seemed unstoppable. But... well, let's just say I've seen some things over at PWizard's place... and I have a good feeling that they're winning this war. In fact, that's why you're still alive. I want to give you a choice. Join us, and live... or stay with your pathetic rebels and get turned into cosmic dust. What'll it be?" An outer section of the wall exploded to one side of this debate. All of the guards whipped their heads that way, while Elite grabbed Serivor and started running the opposite way. As the guards turned back around, they only caught a glimpse of the pair shooting the windows in front of them and jumping right out of the building. The guards ran up to the window just in time to see Elite's parachute open, with an obscene finger gesture on the top of the shoot. A vehicle was waiting about four blocks away for them to land. As soon as they did, it drove off.
And so ends chapter one of our story. Chapter two will begin sometime during the weekend. What do you think so far? Who else should be introduced? Any complaints about the writing style? Or massive plot holes that probably exist?
I loved it. Very exciting. The only problem I saw was them jumping from the third story of a building, then parachuting 4 blocks. Last time I checked, third story buildings were only about 30, maybe 40 feet high.