Douchebox is low. Then comes douchebag. Then douchenozzle. Then doucherocket. I'm sure there's more levels I had figured out, but I forget them.
"Yes, but it's worse when you and Dancer work together"
This should be on Urban Dictionary.
Then maybe, if we eventually move on to your life, we can call your autobiography "Dhampy: A chronicling" Or perhaps, for the subtitle: "A collected Works"