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How do I avoid being picked out by TSA?
 
AdmiralThrawn  posted on Nov 20, 2010 9:09:22 PM - Report post

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So I have to fly to Russia for the New Years, and I'm just dreading this whole security checkpoints balls that seems to have gripped the world's airport security forces. I know I'm going to be picked out: I'm young (and therefore, in the eyes of the people with power in the security realm, a brain-dead maker of mayhem), I have a beard, and a ponytail that reaches the small of my back. This makes me prime murderer/hijacker/bomber material (they think).

Of course, what theses security forces won't realize by looking at me is that I'm well-mannered, eloquent, intelligent, timid and rather socially awkward, I love computers, reading, and trains, that I'm training to be an animator (rather than a suicide bomber, which the TSA seems to think is the world's #1 job market), that I love my life, and that I'm just going to visit my grandmother because I haven't seen her for years. I'm not going to attempt to kill 300 people by making one of my favorite kinds of machines explode.

So how do I avoid being selected to go through the radiation machine and, after opting out, being patted down like a piece of meat. I mean, I'm more likely to be struck by lightning while taking the Presidential oath from the back of my roller-blading unicorn than I am to be a security threat. I want to be treated like a human, not a brain-dead pack animal with a bomb strapped to it.

[Edited by AdmiralThrawn, 11/20/2010 9:12:29 PM]

 
GORDONFREMAN  posted on Nov 20, 2010 9:55:31 PM - Report post


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hey our transportation security in here doesnt behave like this but maybe in america they have alots of bombermans
but i offer you dont travel to somewhere at all
 
Shibby  posted on Nov 20, 2010 10:35:40 PM - Report post

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Sail somewhere else first where theres less security

[Edited by potato_chips, 11/20/2010 10:36:13 PM]

 
insomniac  posted on Nov 20, 2010 11:13:11 PM - Report post

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1: Acquire Viagra
2: Go through screening, opt-out of the body scanners.
3: ????
4: Profit
 
Dhampy  posted on Nov 21, 2010 1:01:46 PM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by insomniac

1: Acquire Viagra
2: Go through screening, opt-out of the body scanners.
3: ????
4: Profit

Win.

 
SuperSkyline89  posted on Nov 21, 2010 1:45:27 PM - Report post

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You're not a terrorist so just go through security and don't think about it. If you have nothing to hide you have no reason to worry.
 
Neo7  posted on Nov 21, 2010 1:55:09 PM - Report post

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Make yourself look like the ultimate Japanophile.
 
Zet  posted on Nov 24, 2010 3:17:35 AM - Report post

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If you don't want to be patted down, just say: "touch me, and I'll sue you for sexual harassment."
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