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Poetry.
 
assassincreed  posted on Jun 08, 2008 7:58:27 AM - Report post


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HOPE

When deep sorrow come past me
Something irresistable lives in me
Passion die and wishes cry.
Out world remains though in glee
Despair,Anxiety,suffering load
Inward feelings go on board.
Show of life has it`s pair
Rule of nature strikes it`s sword
Then some thing occur inside me
Some strong feelings on my plea.
Gives way to Heavenly Light
Shower it`s blessings show me "thee"

 
Dancer  posted on Jun 08, 2008 8:53:14 AM - Report post


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quote:
originally posted by assassincreed

HOPE

When deep sorrow come past me
Something irresistable lives in me
Passion die and wishes cry.
Out world remains though in glee
Despair,Anxiety,suffering load
Inward feelings go on board.
Show of life has it`s pair
Rule of nature strikes it`s sword
Then some thing occur inside me
Some strong feelings on my plea.
Gives way to Heavenly Light
Shower it`s blessings show me "thee"

its all a little bit generic and hollow.
and you can't rhyme 'me' with 'me', its not allowed

but its not terrible, i just wish someone would write about something more interesting than boring old emotions. especially when its just regurgitated ones about being 'sad'.

 
N1YTR0  posted on Jun 08, 2008 8:57:15 AM - Report post

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Dancer.
Give me a subject to rhyme about.
 
GORDONFREMAN  posted on Jun 08, 2008 8:58:17 AM - Report post


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anyway it is nice poetry man try to be better.
 
Dancer  posted on Jun 08, 2008 9:00:48 AM - Report post


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okey dokey

write a poem about = getting a bus home, but you can only refer to nouns as their primary colour anything else about the bus journey is up to you, perhaps you crash, perhaps you fly, perhaps it just takes you home.

ENGAGE!

 
assassincreed  posted on Jun 08, 2008 9:04:26 AM - Report post


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write about moderators please ban me
 
N1YTR0  posted on Jun 08, 2008 9:14:03 AM - Report post

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Wait.... Only refer to nouns as their primary colour...?

Ok i'll just do getting the bus home...
 
Dancer  posted on Jun 08, 2008 9:15:02 AM - Report post


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quote:
originally posted by assassincreed

write about moderators please ban me

maybe later,


this is my quick (very quick)
version of the bus poem thing i requested.


seek upon the yellow bold
passage within the palm of man
while we dig ourselves into blue
and salute myself as a guest
as my white translates the blur
into certain familiarities
increasing anticipation of old
like materials fit on skin
appears the lines of motion
to be associated with noise
of background conversation
the glare upon horizon burns
my shadow like a signature
as my red curve then turns
to show glee and pearly white.

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