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Postal III

Reviewed on: PC
Running With Scissors
Publisher: Running With Scissors
Rated: "RP" for Rating Pending

CHEATfactor Game Review
by Joe Sinicki

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User Rating:        6
Presentation: 6

Though it's miles ahead of its predecessor, Postal III lacks the definition and detail found in other AAA PC games. The sound is what you'd expect, but the limited one-liners get old very quickly.

Gameplay: 5

You've got to hand it to Postal III, it grabs your attention very early on, but for all the wrong reasons. The mechanics may be old, dated and uninspired, but Postal III relies on pushing the envelope for the sake of pushing it, and it's pretty deplorable.

Lasting Appeal:

The campaign is actually pretty lengthy, but you're not likely to really want to go through most of it because it's so incredibly uninspired and predictable.

Overall: 6
Postal III isn't a terrible game, it's just run of the mill with little innovation or thought. Rather than focusing on key mechanics, the developers decided to turn their attention towards being crude for the sake of being crude.
CHEATfactor: 6

At the beginning of every year, there's that one game that sets the pace for the rest of the year's releases. It makes you forget the year before it, and get excited for what's to come. Ladies and gentlemen, Postal III is not that game. In fact; it's pretty much as far as what the game industry wants to be known for this year as you can get. To be fair, it's not a terrible game, it's pretty middle of the road, it's just the exact opposite of what the gaming industry needs right now. It's crude, it's classless and it's hateful -- and all this for no real reason other than the desire to offend.

Haven't played through the previous two Postal games? Don't worry -- for two reasons. First, the game opens up with a rather lengthy movie sequence detailing the history of our protagonist The Postal Dude. The other reason you won't have to worry? You won't need to know any of the series' roots to understand just what's going on in Portal III, because there's literally no plot worth following. Postal III doesn't focus on story, it just gives you tasks and jobs you'll have to do to get out of bad situations -- and that's when things start to go downhill fast.

These aren't your normal fetch this, kill that quests, oh no -- Postal III does things differently. In one mission, you're cleaning up used Kleenex in an adult video arcade and then slinging them at Sarah Palin lookalikes. Go ahead, read that sentence over, it says exactly what you thought it did. Later on in the game you'll murder a gay biker gang and even decapitate pedestrians and piss on their bodies. And why? For some lesson? To advance the story further? Nope. It's all done just...because. Now, I'm no prude, but it's a bit much. A bit more than a bit.

" can hack off any of your opponent's limbs..."


Maybe I'm being a bit unfair, as I did have a bit of fun with one of Postal III's mechanics. At any point in the game, you can hack off any of your opponent's limbs, and then proceed to pretty much whatever you want with them. I had a great deal of fun taking the limbs of a few enemies and then tossing them at other enemies. It's a small plus in a game filled with negatives.

Perhaps all of these lewd acts could be excused if there was any substance what-so-ever to Postal III. This is as bare bones, run-of-the-mill as shooters as you'll likely ever see. The game does very little to differentiate itself from other shooters, and somehow even manages to mess up the basics. Moving seems to be a major problem here, as you'll constantly get caught up on everything from terrain changes to objects in the environment. It's incredibly frustrating to keep taking fire as you're stuck on a small hill.

"...features some of the worst AI I've ever seen."


Postal III also features some of the worst AI I've ever seen. Picture yourself in a heavy firefight, against a slew of undead enemies, it's just you and one of your closest allies. You hunker down in a corner to avoid getting shot, then look over to see how your ally is doing. Apparently, he's just standing there. In the open. Doing nothing. Yeah, great strategy. Both the enemy and friendly AI exhibit almost no awareness for what's going on in the game that it would almost be laughable...if it wasn't so frustrating.

Presentation wise, Postal III is pretty much what you'd expect. It looks alright, but also miles behind what other AAA PC shooters are packing these days. The Postal Dude has a few interesting one liners he spews out, but there's not enough to keep them fresh and they get old very fast. Oddly enough, the audio has a tendency to freak out at times and get tiny or not even work at all.

Some of the best games of all time have been described as "jaw dropping," and Postal III is no different. Unfortunately, it's not for the same reasons. The game does a great job pushing the envelope, but with no context, it's just done for shock value. If the developers would have put as much thought into their gameplay as they did the shock value, Postal III could have been something to remember, but in its current state it's something you'll want to forget. 



CHEATS USED: Steam Achievements List

Having played through the previous two Postal games, I appreciated the amount of nods and in-jokes the developers put in for me to find, but those are the only cheats or hidden content in the game we've found so far.

I'd love to unlock all of the game's weapons early on in the game, and see how they work in different situations, or a god mode like cheat for unlimited health. I mean come on, I can already pee on people -- I may as well be invincible right?



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Current rank: 3.5 Stars. Next Rank at 8000 Posts.
User # 538725
posted: 2/12/2013 12:46:33 AM -  Report Post              I rate this game   edit post

I would have to agree with you. While I found the game kind of fun to just go around and screw around in, when it came to the actual story, it was kind of dull. But then again, I came into the game with really low expectations, so I wasn't really dissatisfied with the game. I definitely don't take it seriously at all.

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