A Legendary Adenture: Part 1
posted 7/17/2010 3:18:59 PM
There was once a beautiful land that prospered greatly. The sun shined, the birds flew, and in general everything was pretty okay. This place was called Belgium, and absolutely no one lived there. A couple miles away from Belgium was Russia, and this was where Dhampy lived.
Russia was a cold, mean place. Dhampy lived in the coldest, meanest part of Russia, a place devoid of everything besides ice and bears. The only way Dhampy could cheer himself up was by making terrible jokes every day.
On one such day, Dhampy had killed a bear and was going to bring it back to his camp to eat. "I'll bearly make it home if I keep Stalin like this." Dhampy said, slowly dragging the bear behind him. "But I guess there's no sense in rushin either."
It was a very boring life.
One day, however, Dhampy was foraging for food when he found a man buried in the snow. The man's name was Toastman, and he was made of toast. "What a cool discovery." Dhampy said to himself, taking several bites out of Toastman before dragging him back to the camp and eating the rest.
Hours later, Pisces ran up to Dhampy's camp looking for Toastman. "Haven't seen him." Dhampy said, sweeping some of the toast crumbs away. "Why are you looking for him, anyway?"
"Oh, we're looking for the Seven Legendary Orbs of Power." Pisces said. He then held up a small gadget. "We've got this locating device, so we can see where all seven are. Once you gather 'em all, they can grant you any one wish."
"That sounds really familiar." said Dhampy. "But anyway, one of those orbs is around here, eh?"
"We actually already got that one." Pisces said. "But then we got attacked by a bear and had to split up. It's a good thing I didn't lose the orb." Pisces said, digging into his pockets and pulling out a small, glowing sphere.
"But anyway, you haven't seen Toastman?" Pisces asked.
This time Dhampy didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed a large rock. Ten seconds later, Pisces was unconscious and Dhampy had the orb-finding-gadget, a legendary orb, and a stomach full of toast.
Meanwhile, two days later and also at Airhead's house...
Airhead poured himself a tall glass of grape-flavored Juicy Juice. Pisces and Toastman had been missing for 3 days now, and everyone was pretty sure they were dead. Just as Airhead finished drinking the drink, there was a knock on his door. "It's Pisces, I've got urgent news!" said the person knocking.
Before opening the door, Airhead thought to himself. "What if it's a zombie?" he thought. This almost made sense, so Airhead opened the door and punched Pisces to death. And then Airhead realized Pisces wasn't a zombie.
Unsure of what to do next, Airhead called Latios and asked for his help. Latios came over and asked why there was a dead Pisces on the doorstep, also stating that it was pretty fishy. Airhead explained what happened as Latios took a second look at Pisces.
"Wait a second, Airhead." Latios said, noticing that something was sticking out of Pisces's left pocket. "That might be his wallet." Latios said, proceeding to take the item out and examining it. "It's a wallet alright, but the only thing inside is useless Russian money and a piece of paper with some words on it."
"What do the words say?" Airhead asked as Latios read the paper. "According to this paper," Latios said, "there's 7 legendary orbs out there. Once you gather all 7, you can have any one wish granted. And on the back of this paper, there's a map that shows all the locations of the orbs."
"But why would Pisces write all of this down?" Airhead asked. Latios just shrugged. "I guess he's terrible at keeping secrets. Anyway, we should start looking for these orbs before someone else gets their hands on them. According to the map, one of the orbs is already on the move."
"Wait, the map shows the movement of the orbs too? Is it magic or something?" Airhead asked. Latios ignored this question and looked at the map instead. "Airhead, look at this." Latios said, pointing to a particular spot on the map. "This is where we are, but according to the map, the orb is right above us."
"And it's moving, too." Latios said. "It looks like it's getting closer to us."
And at that very moment, Night-Ghost walked up. "Oh hey, what's up with you guy?" he asked.
Latios and Airhead looked up from the map for a second and made small talk. The three of them talked about a variety of topics, but mostly the weather. Airhead pointed out that it was a bit cloudy, Night-Ghost talked about how there wasn't much rain that week, and Latios wondered why it had been so cold last week.
However, they were all unaware of one very important weather-related detail. On that particular day, at that particular time, a certain legendary orb was hurtling down from the sky at an immense velocity. The orb fell and fell, and right as Night-Ghost was about to go home and eat dinner, he was struck in the head by this orb.
"Whoa, he looks pretty dead." Latios said, picking up the orb and wiping the blood and hair off. "But hey, at least we found the thing. Wanna go find the rest?"
But Airhead shook his airy head. "I'm really hungry and it sounds like a lot of trouble. I don't really know what I'd wish for anyway."
And thus Airhead walked back into his house, with Latios walking away. Latios wondered what he should wish for. Would he choose money and power, or happiness and peace? Would he choose the bad thing or the good thing? Why was he only given two choices? Was wishing for more wishes allowed?
And thus Latios ventured onward, bewildered and confused. As he looked towards the sky and saw several meat-shaped clouds pass by, more realizations arose in his mind. He was racing against an unknown opponent, and the steaks were high. Latios looked at the map, walking directly towards the nearest orb.
With the orb in his pocket and the map in his hand, Latios headed toward Pwizard Mansion.
To be continued in Part 2: Electric Boogaloo