I've been reading older blogs to see how different I am now compared to back then. And I really haven't changed like at all. I still blog about the same ****. Girls. My 12th blog was the first time I talked about my girl problems, and I haven't really stopped since. That blog also got 51 comments, which is probably the most I've ever gotten. My mindset or outlook on life have not changed since I was 13 years old. My love life (or lack thereof) has always been my biggest problem. In October 2010 I posted a blog about how I hate dreams because they trick you. I just said that same exact thing yesterday. In august 2012, I posted a blog saying "why do I care so much? I feel like that's my downfall". Two blogs later, I said "she will be the reason I lose my mind". Which also perfectly describes how I currently feel.
Have I ever told you the defiiniton of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting **** to change. Going by that logic, I should be in a padded cell. Because I have a history of falling in love with a girl from afar, and then never talking to her. And then the one time I take a shot in the dark and go for it, it actually works out, and life is great. For about two weeks. Until I jump the gun and set myself up for a spectacular failure again. And then I dwell on it for a long time, until another girl comes a long, and the whole process just starts over again, and then that cycle keeps going on until death. I don't think there's a happy ending in the cards for me. I will die alone. That's the path I'm headed towards, though obviously I hope not. But whatever. Why do I still have 69 subscribers. My blogs aren't funny, or entertaining, or anything like that. They're just ramblings of a kid who isn't as smart as he thinks he is, and thinks his problems are bigger than everyone else's.