Going to movies searching for other singles so I can feel less awkward.
Even among friends, or so-called ones, don't really enjoy their company. Have nothing much to talk about.
Even flirting isn't fun as it used to be.
Started watching "Without a Trace" from beginning and almost to finish. Sure I got really attached to characters specially Jack Malone.
One of the girls from my class is still angry with me cause I wasn't interested while she was throwing herself at me. I feel sorry and annoyed at the same time.
A glass of whiskey and mini Cohibas all I have to feel better before sleep.
I was going to pre-order Company oh Heroes 2 was to expensive so I didn't.
It's almost six weeks since the day I got back home. During these days I was so calm and also happy. No signs of stress or strain. No more butterflies in my stomach and I could enjoy being bored! Boring but being home, is something I really enjoyed this time!
I gain some weight! I'm not eating more than before but, not moving that much! I decided to go for hiking a bit, yet, still not sure if I'm gonna stick to this plan.
But... Yes! There is a "but", I'm gonna fly back to Cyprus on 28th and it gives me a bad feeling. As if it's for the first time. Usually in the afternoons or before sleep in bed, I imagine that I'm there and remembering myself right now. back to that apartment with almost all-quiet neighborhood. Again, Greek language and weird alphabet on the street-signs and above that, driving on the opposite lane!
I like my classes and I hope it distracts me when I get back to my studies. But still, the thought of first step into my apartment and unpacking my bags filled with scent of home and beloved ones gives me shivers.
I gotta clean up the place, buy some groceries, food. Take my car to car-wash. It's covered with dust already!
And try to get along with new life.
I think it would take a week to adjust to the new situation but this adaption take a lot energy and I'm sure of it.
The complexity of psychological behavior of human is so dense and even over the time and fair amount of counseling still it's hard to determine the appropriate response toward specific stimulus.
Given the incidents you predict, to that of unknown to you and you get dazzled by the depth and even existence of their potential.
The adaptation and bonding sometimes coats it self with anonymity so you are not aware of it at all.
Then it strikes you hard while you have let your guards down.... waiting for your faith defenseless!
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