Thursday was the last appointment with the surgeon (check previous blog for info). Everything is going well, I'm healing nicely and I should keep it up until the hole closes completely. There's hardly any pain now, just here and there.
Something weird happened before I went to the hospital for my surgery. I was a mess psychologically and I didn't think I could make it through without crying everyday. I had that with my 3 previous surgeries cos I had to rely on other people for the simplest things like washing myself. But for some reason I've been feeling better, it's like I'm not even depressed anymore. I have worries about the future but I can think about it now. I don't feel like staying in bed all day and I don't mind going out.
There are moments where I'm sad but don't we all have those moments? They pass fairly quickly now. I hope this continues.
On my last blog I said that my parents wanted me to have a surgery just before Xmas and I told them I'd get it after NYE. On the 11th I went to a surgeon to check out a cyst I've had on my lower back for years, I had already done 3 surgeries to get rid of it to no avail. He said it was really bad and kept me at the hospital, I went into surgery the next morning.
The anesthesiologist assured me that even though she wouldn't put me under I wouldn't feel a thing due to the drugs, I didn't really believe her but nothing I could do anyway. I did sleep for most of the time but I woke up as they were finishing. Do you know that feeling as they put gauges on an open wound that almost reaches your bone and then stitching your lower back? No? I do. Incredible pain is an understatement. And that was just the beginning.
I went home the next day and came back 2 days later to have the stitches and gauges out and to clean the wound. Turns out taking gauges off that have been stuck to your skin/meat for days can be more painful than surgery. Taking them off in slow motion is even worse. Water+Betadine hurt equally. After that I had to change gauges/clean the wound twice a day. Up until Thursday it hurt like hell when the pain suddenly stopped being so severe and the gauges don't stick to the wound as much. I'm now cleaning the wound 3 times a day. I have to go back to the hospital in February.
It took until the fourth surgery to actually do a good job, this surgeon took everything out. I have a pic of what it looks like but it's pretty gross, you can't see how deep it is though. The person changing my gauges had to vomit repeatedly and couldn't eat meat the first week. It'll take a month and a half at least to heal.
This is what my back looked like basically It still looks like that to me but I can't see all of it. I still have a long way to recovery but it's getting better.
The last couple weeks of 2010 I was really stressed, dealing with the government is not an easy task, the lines are so long and when you finally get to the clerk they want you to bring more documents to them. It's frustrating but with some help from a friend I'm almost done getting rid of an old car.
At the same time my parents kept bugging me about having an operation on the 24th. An operation that's been repeated 3 times with the same results: Lots of pain but no gain. It would cause me to be bound to bed which would mean breaking a promise to a person that matters to me. I may end up doing the surgery before my health insurance is up in february just to please the masses.
Last day of 2010 I had insomnia as usual and ended up sleeping between 11am and 1pm, got up and went out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. Got home around 6pm, my father arrived a bit later drooling over a tv he had seen at the store. He's been wanting to buy a new tv for months, he loves that stuff. He went back to the store with my brother to get it. It's a Samsung 32" LED tv and it'll go in my room...soon I hope!
The excitement started to wear off and I ended up falling asleep around 10pm, told my mother to wake me up before the new year...I woke up@4am, still tired. Everyone was still up playing cards, I played a bit and lost. Losing is a good thing, once I won and that year everything went to hell, still recovering from that.
Happy new year! Let's hope 2011 brings better things our way.
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