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EssenceOfShadow
essenceofshadow@gmail.com

Rank: ELITE  
Member Since: Feb 01, 2009
Last Visit: Dec 12, 2011
Location: United States
Message Boards Postcount: 294
 
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Life...
posted 12/2/2011 2:57:53 PM

Wonderful. Horrible. Good. Bad. Crazy. Amazing. Heart-warming. Heart-breaking. Beautiful. Horrifying. Terrifying. Abusive. Haunting. Inspiring.
...
But through it all, life is life. It continues whether you want it to or not, whether it breaks you down or makes you stronger. I've learned this the hard way...the VERY hard way. And in my life so far, I've been through some really really horrible things. Things I don't even like to remember. It's dark, unhealthy, and downright wrong on so many accounts. But hey, that's life.
...
Even so, I'm still here through it all.
...
And that's what I want to do; I want to help those people who, like me, were the ones who fell through the cracks. I want to be that tiny, flickering sliver of hope that may be all someone has left to hold on to. I'll admit, I was very close to suicide. Extremely close. I actually tried multiple times. I thought the suffering was too much to handle. Until I was almost dead after another failed attempt, I finally realized that I would have lost the war I was fighting if I had died. Killing myself would allow everyone who has ever intentionally hurt me to win. And not only that, I realized that I would never be able to help anyone else ever again. I could never sing, ever again. NEVER. So I lived through it. Now, you may not believe in God or anything, an I'm not going to say I believe in God or anything else specifically, but I do believe that there is something that kept me alive. Maybe not a "person" so to speak, but something. Something greater than myself that kept me alive so that maybe, one day, I can help those people like me who are losing all faith in the world we live in. But I want people to know that, no matter how nonexistant the future may be to you, or if you think that it is beyond all hope, all you need is one person, one hobby, one passion, one thing for you to put your entire being into to keep you alive. For me, it was singing. Singing was the only thing that kept me from not being here today. Music is something that may sound like noise to some, but if you listen deeply, you can feel all of the person's heart is in a single song. And that's what I did. But yeah.
...
I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy or something, and please tell me if you believe so. But I just want to let anyone know, (and I know this sounds cheesy, but still) if anyone wants to talk to me about anything ever, feel welcome to. I respond to most everything relatively quickly, but my deviantArt page is alot more active than this one(By any means, you can still pm me or comment to this on here XD). (But if you were to look on deviantArt, type EssenceOfShadow in the search bar and click on one of my "works" of art. By clicking on my username in the next window, you'll find me.) But yeah, I had to get that out.
...
So yeah, that's about it.
...
See ya later,
EssenceOfShadow

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