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Post Bad Jokes in Here.
 
SideFX  posted on Aug 17, 2010 3:58:13 PM - Report post

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ELITE
What did the mermaid do last Sunday night?

She went to sea a movie.

 
nailan  posted on Aug 17, 2010 3:59:54 PM - Report post

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quote:
originally posted by potato_chips

quote:
originally posted by Foxxie-kun

Why did the farmer throw up when he took a bite of his cold cereal with milk?

Because his son can't remember how many udders cows have.

lol that doesn't even make much sense - Cows with udders dont have anything else to pull on, they're all female

well maybe someone confused the cow with a bull for the joke.

Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.

What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia

What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
Bull-dozin

Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows

What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
Decalfenated

Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn't work

Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?
They called it the Herd Shot 'Round The World!

 
Foxxie-kun  posted on Aug 17, 2010 5:18:07 PM - Report post

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VETERAN
What are the three main reasons Edward Cullen is not a vampire?

1: Vampires don't sparkle in sunlight.

2: Edward doesn't eat people.

3: Edward's too angsty and twinky to be a vampire.

Thusly, Edward's just a fairy.

 
Shibby  posted on Aug 17, 2010 7:19:56 PM - Report post

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Some funny stuff + jokes:

They call television a medium. That's because it is neither rare nor well done.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to pick on rich women than biker gangs

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

God: Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.
Angel: What are you going to do now?
God: I think I'll call it a day

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass to keep from falling off the world.

A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one

A woman is like a teabag - only in hot water do you realize how strong she is


"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners." -Jeff Stilson

 
ArchDuke  posted on Aug 17, 2010 7:24:42 PM - Report post


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INACTIVE
Why does Marion Jones make less money than David Beckham and Tiger Woods? 'Cause she's from Africa.

PS: I heard this on the street and laughed until I cried dunno if it counts as a bad joke.

 
Neo7  posted on Aug 17, 2010 8:06:23 PM - Report post

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What did the SCV say to his buddy to scare him?
-SUPPLIES!
 
nailan  posted on Aug 17, 2010 8:08:23 PM - Report post

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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"

 
king-of-games  posted on Aug 17, 2010 8:12:42 PM - Report post

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THE KING
You can tune a piano, but you cant TUNA FISH!!!!!

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