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This is a beautiful poem
 
ServiusTheBear  posted on Jun 27, 2010 10:27:38 PM - Report post

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Seems good there is a slight flow issue. But its good.
 
sabinboy  posted on Jun 27, 2010 10:31:18 PM - Report post

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Nice poem man,nice.
 
PseudoAnxiety  posted on Jun 28, 2010 4:56:11 AM - Report post


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Here is one I wrote a while back for a girl I used to love.

Why are you standing there? So perplexed in time?
Do you like gazing into the stars to pass the time?

Your beauty is radiant, Your expression is vacant.
How are you, Lonely? I'm sure. Do you have the time?

Your face is porcelain, Your eyes, sapphire.
Indeed I see, for you too are transfixed in time.

I love your poise, your grace. My, how you tease me.
Oh why did I have to meet you at this time?

I'm in love with you. Do you not see me?
Am I merely a shadow lost forever in time?

Once more alone. Once more forgotten.
Your expression I shall remember for all time.

Indeed our moment has passed, my
stone goddess, for it is finally my time.


It's written in a very strict english interpretation of the old Ghazal form from the ancient middle east. It's a lovely yet fairly difficult form to write in.

[Edited by PseudoAnxiety, 6/28/2010 4:57:37 AM]

[Edited by PseudoAnxiety, 6/28/2010 5:21:49 AM]

 
sabinboy  posted on Jun 28, 2010 5:10:37 AM - Report post

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wow.... nice poem man.
 
PseudoAnxiety  posted on Jun 28, 2010 6:13:04 AM - Report post


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Thank you very much. That means a lot to me!
 
king-of-games  posted on Jun 28, 2010 6:54:42 AM - Report post

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I've got to admit PseudoAnxiety, I actually liked the poem you wrote alot better then the poem in the first post.
 
PseudoAnxiety  posted on Jun 28, 2010 8:16:59 AM - Report post


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Heh thanks that means a lot to me.

The poem in the first post was written by world renowned author and poet Wendell Berry and was one of his better ones. So putting me in or near the same class makes me very appreciative!

*Yes* I googled to find out who wrote it.....shhhh!

[Edited by PseudoAnxiety, 6/28/2010 8:19:09 AM]

 
ServiusTheBear  posted on Jun 28, 2010 3:52:27 PM - Report post

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Now you are good and this comes from a pro.
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