Bad movies arenít what they used to be. More specifically, bad movies that make it into theaters these days usually have a base level of competence that sets them apart from the bad movies of yesteryear. Dullness dwells where incompetence used to call home. The Raja Gosnells far outnumber the Ed Woods. But every once in a while, a film limps into theaters so stitched together, itís a wonder it doesnít rip apart in the projector. Jonah Hex is such a film.
Jonah Hex is what happens when someone promises to deliver a releasable movie by a certain date, and then doesnít.
Whole elements, like Hexís supernatural powers and Megan Foxís prostitute-in-distress, could disappear without anyone noticing. And thatís without even mentioning the Native American village that shows up at random. Or the CGI crows. Or the acid-spitting snake-man.
I don't know if it's the worst movie ever, but it's certainly bad. However, some parts of it are (unintentionally) hilarious, like the Gatling gun equipped horse and the totally real looking face deformity. If the movie didn't take itself seriously, it could make a half-decent comedy.
Brace yourselves, Jonah Hex has a reasonable opponent in the form of "The Last Airbender". That's right, the children's anime/cartoon featuring a kid who bends wind (Sounds like a euphemism for floating an ass biscuit to me) is being made into a feature length film full of pretty CGI and a plot comparable to the failure that the cartoon was always meant to be.
Now they're making horrid films out of crappy cartoons...