Your gay friend is probably speaking in only his own preference and experience.
With me and Wuffie, we're both very affectionate, and yet very protective of each other. Neither of us are all that "soft", nor are we overly "rough" either.
Neither of us act girly either.
The stereotypes are strange, but far from the norm. It's like saying Brits never brush their teeth or that Canadians can eat their weight in Donuts, moose meat, and Kraft macaroni and cheese in the span of a few days. Sure it may be possible once in a while, but it's hardly commonplace.