POLL: Welterweight Championship of the World! - Cheat Happens Off-Topic Discussions Message Board (Page 1)
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 MESSAGE BOARDS >> OFF-TOPIC DISCUSSIONS
 POLL: Welterweight Championship of the World!  
 
 
 
 Who would win in a fight?
 by Dhampy
 Apple (you can put someone's eye out with one of dem fruits!)
 Nokia (Finns carry knives and are freaking insane!)
 BLARGABLARGARBA! (Obligatory nonsense answer to attract the most votes)
 
   


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Posted: Dec 29, 2009 12:54:04 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

Nokia and Apple are gripped in a patent war. Link

But that's irrelevant.

The question is if Apple and Nokia were people, who would win in a fight?

THIS IS NOT A QUESTION ABOUT WHICH COMPANY YOU LIKE THE BEST!

Clearly, these companies would be in the Welterweight class (140-147 pounds).

Think outside the box.

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Posted: Dec 29, 2009 1:06:02 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

Here's how it will play out.

Apple, being an arrogant underdog, will underestimate Nokia's capacity for hiding knives on its person. Apple will then have to react quickly and catch each knife within his own weapon of choice, the Red Delicious.

After the Finnish opponent is adequately disarmed, apple will throw the fruit with knives over the edge of the bridge they're on. Then it's up to an American fruit versus a Finnish maniac.

Blows are exchanged, both suffer broken noses and bruised cheekbones, black eyes, and chipped teeth. Then Apple picks up a loose piece of pavement from a nearby pothole (Because American roads are trash nowadays) and brains Nokia a few times, causing massive hemorrhaging within Nokia's head and effectively killing him.

Then in the murder trial Apple will be acquitted because he bought out everyone in the courtroom with his mountainous piles of cash.

He'll then go on to attempt to take down bigger fish, and eventually bite off more he can chew, and get himself a permanent dirtnap from Microsoft, whom not only has a host of bodyguards and high-caliber weapons, but also ingenious ways to dispose of a body.

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Posted: Dec 29, 2009 1:12:55 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

They'd have to make a new class for Microsoft. Überweight.
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