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Why do they call him the bullet dodger?
 
Dhampy  posted on Dec 08, 2009 7:16:55 PM - Report post

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Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
 
Foxxie-kun  posted on Dec 08, 2009 7:27:56 PM - Report post

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Quick, to the horrendously suggestively shaped long and round-ish car!

Quick, drive it into the horrendously suggestively shaped oval tunnel!

Quick, launch yourself out of the windshield and land just barely outside the tunnel on the other side and get carried away by beautiful nurses who are... Wait, are those bears?

 
Dhampy  posted on Dec 08, 2009 7:30:33 PM - Report post

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You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a ****head. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
 
Dhampy  posted on Dec 08, 2009 7:54:12 PM - Report post

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Ever cross the road and look the wrong way? And, hey, presto, there's a car nearly on you. So, what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before you...because you're too scared to think. You just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't.

Why?

Because he had plans on running the car over.

It had previously occurred to me that he'd taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction is quite a ****ing thing.

 
pisces  posted on Dec 08, 2009 9:47:23 PM - Report post

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Or the bullets dodge him.
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