Have a joke, on me. - Cheat Happens Off-Topic Discussions Message Board (Page 1)
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 Have a joke, on me.  
 
 
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Posted: Nov 21, 2009 5:57:13 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?!"
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Posted: Nov 21, 2009 6:07:26 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

I know a different version.

One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the ****'s your problem?'

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Posted: Nov 21, 2009 6:17:29 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

I laughed. Not out loud.
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Posted: Nov 21, 2009 6:20:42 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

[Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]

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Posted: Nov 22, 2009 10:13:25 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

 quote:
 originally posted by Dancer:

It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

[Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]

A) You seem to be in a Mood for spamming...

B) You wanted to use **** a bit...

C) Think you might be in a foul mood, try calming yourself a bit....

( <---- This is coz I felt like spamming this smiley... I like it..)

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Posted: Nov 22, 2009 10:44:23 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

I think the response to Dancer's joke amused me more than the joke itself...
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Posted: Nov 22, 2009 11:26:10 AM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

 quote:
 originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836:

 quote:
 originally posted by Dancer:

It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

[Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]

A) You seem to be in a Mood for spamming...

B) You wanted to use **** a bit...

C) Think you might be in a foul mood, try calming yourself a bit....

( <---- This is coz I felt like spamming this smiley... I like it..)

A) It's not always appropriate to openly analyse something when you have a slender grasp on understanding creativity and satire.

Now, I am sad.

[Edited by Dancer, 11/22/2009 11:30:59 AM]

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Posted: Nov 22, 2009 12:28:09 PM - Report post  (0)  (0)       Post Reply  post reply  

*hugs Dancer* don't be sad Dancer. I still like you
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