Congratulations Elle, I wish you the best and may your love bloom and prosper forever.
It's simple really. It punches holes in things, or people, you just want to go away!
Let me demonstrate. Your boss got you down, wants those TPS reports by 4 o'clock, but you want to browse the net for something to let you blow off some steam, right? With its patented design, the hole-puncher deluxe can easily and safely destroy your boss and then some. Simply insert the clip of ammunition into the hole-puncher deluxe, aim down the sights, squeeze the trigger, and presto, your boss is now losing 10% of his total blood volume every 15 seconds.
Sound too good to be true? Maybe, but we have an amazing price! For just 25 payments of $159.99, this wonderful product can be yours today! And it comes in three great colors! Chrome, Steel Blue, and Gold!
Call within the next twenty minutes and we'll send you the Mini-Hole-Puncher absolutely free! Easily concealable, light, compact, and with little recoil, this fully automatic beauty can turn someone you particularly hate into swiss cheese!
These products go great with the ShamWow: Crime Scene Edition and the universal evidence remover 2.0!
We also have a lifetime warranty, and when you purchase, you also receive a phone number for you to call to purchase replacement ammunition at the low low price of only $59.99 for 30 rounds! Such a bargain!