Off-Topic Discussions

I hit my girlfriend today.. wow I feel like such ****. I guess I'm gonna get picked up by the cops tomorrow, so I figured I would tell you guys what happened.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody. My dad wanted me and my brother because he genuinely loved us. My mom wanted us just to spite my dad. She won, and my dad kinda lost it over the decades.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.

Basically, I ****ed my fist back, and flew it straight into her nose. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose EXPLODED. I think I must of broken a bunch of cartilage or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor.

She staggered backwards, hit her head hard enough on the wall to leave a dent, and slumped down.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't go the cops or anything. So later I went to my room and broke down in tears..

My mom came in the room and when she heard about the story she got scared and said your moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air!

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Wow dude. That's not good. How long you think you'll be in for?

Wait. Did you all not even read the whole thing?

Yeah I got the Fresh Prince part. So you were joking?

LoL! @ the last paragraph!

Due to the final paragraph, I'm hoping the rest is BS. But if it's not, you're definitely in trouble.

Don't joke about moving out to LA. In the year 2000, an earthquake measuring 9.6 on the Richter Scale struck Los Angeles, separating it from the mainland.

Now an island on the border of civilization, L.A. is a no-man's land of chaos, anarchy and darkness. The United States Police Force, like an army, is encamped in the San Gabriel Mountains. The President's first act as Permanent Commander-in-Chief is Directive 17: protect and defend the United States from this island of the damned, Hell on Earth.