Irrational and emotionally fragile by nature, female coworkers are a peculiar animal. They are very insecure about their appearance. Be sure to tell them how good they look every day, even if they're homely and unkempt. "You're doing a great job, Muriel, and you're prettier than Mamie Van Doren." And remember, nothing says "good job" like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind.