General Discussions

Hi guys its kind of been awhile I kind of stop coming here cause this place was boring me, and looking around this still looks pretty dead.

...Any who here my attempt at making a thread and one that is pretty relevant to my life right now...

So I tell you my story then I'll get on to topic since it all relates.

So as some of you might know I do Personal Training as a Career, and a few Months ago about May this year I start training this Women at the Gym and from first session we just clicked and I was doing some of the best sessions I had ever done because she just picked up on everything I taught her like a natural, and we just clicked as Trainer/Client.

Fast-forward 1 months later she texts me one night asking if I wanted to come night clubbing with her mates so I agreed, all was good and we had a good time and we regretted it like hell the next day with Big Hangovers, you.(I was drunk as hell that night and don't remember much but I slightly remember her trying to walk in on me in the shower when we got back to her house, you think I would of got the sign huh!)

Fast-forward 1 week later she invites me to the Movies after a training session, so I agreed and we went to the Movies. Now at the time I would of never thought of dating a client due to our professional relationship, but half way through the movie she randomly grabs me by the collar pulls me towards her and starts making out with me, now me being the guy I am goes along with it. After the movie she tells me she has been flirting with me for at least 2 weeks and I haven't notice the signs so she thought she'd be more direct. So we end up dating for the next couple of month where we fall in love and become best friends at the same time.

Now here is the thing... about 2 weeks ago we break up after a few months dating because we realise we don't want to wreak our strong friendship if things go to the next stage.

Now here is where the topic picks up, last Thursday we got back together because we realised we could not keep our hands off each other and ever though we had broken up, the way we interacted hadn't changed.

HOWEVER... Some how in that conversation we had when we got back together we somehow agreed on an open relationship. For those that don't know what an open relationship is, it basically means that we are a couple but if we choose we had the option to have sex with different people aslong as it is a once off thing and there is no emotional attachment between the person they choose to have sex with outside the relationship with.

I know its not exactly acceptable amongst society, and I have been questioning it lately but...

-What is you opinion on open relationships? Do you think they can work if there is enough trust/love between two people?

Discuss...

Honestly I look at this "open relationship" thing as if its "Ok we're dating but it's ok if I cheated" and that is not ok with me.

no a open relationship is sham if you or her want to the sex with a stranger just for fun then you are not in love no matter what you tell yourself ive been married for 7 years got 4 kids to the same woman(wife)and cant possibly imagine myself with anyone else be it one night or not
Also most open relationships it just one partner that normally wants it and the other will go along with it to keep what they thought they first had when probably there partner is just trying to get as much as they can from as many as they can

[Edited by benduhova, 10/23/2011 10:42:36 AM]

Open relationships are just an excuse to cheat as far as I see it. If you're gonna be in a relationship, then you stay faithful to that one person. If you want to have 'relations' with strangers, then don't be in a relationship at all. It doesn't make sense to say you're dating someone and be off with someone else.

It depends. What you want from her. (Though, judging from your post, you might be confused.)

To speak plainly, ignoring the circumstances:
If you're just lookin for uhh... you know. Then it's fine.
There's a myth going around some that only guys are interested in that, which, as I can tell, you know isn't true.
Really, an open 'relationship' isn't exactly an intimate relationship at all (imo).

If you want more from her, or you think even in the absolute slightest that you just might have a future with her (doesn't matter when), then absolutely not.

If you're actually looking for advice it is a little hard to say as we don't really know the girl as well as you do, so we can really only give advice that anyone could give you, based on their opinions and morals...

Meh, It's just my take on things.
I say it all the time: Create opinions of me, ignore me, hate me, I don't care. This is what I think about it, and I'm not afraid to type it. I'm always neutral.

By nature it does not work very well since humans do feel jealousy, vengeance, and other negative emotions when they are not the ones getting attention. Does not mean it is not impossible to work with though. The key concept is being able to give and receive love equally from everyone and if everyone involved can accept that, then more power to them.

Should be noted that for each additional person added to the relationship weave, the more complex and harder it will be to work with an open relationship.

Though from that, the problem is stemming from crossing a line with customer relationships. Traditionally getting into a relationship with someone you work with is not good since it has so much potential to blow up in your face and damage your career as well as your emotions. It's easy to have a client/trainer relationship and it's easy to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, but it is not easy to have both at the same time.

[Edited by Neo7, 10/23/2011 11:28:23 AM]

whatever guys....

it can work and it can be a wonderful thing....you just have to make sure you and your partner are very secure, able to deal with such a not so socially acceptable concept, and are really keen to the idea itself.

if you and partner/ friend with benefits really think you can handle it and really enjoy it then prepare yourself for an awesome, beautiful, amazing, and crazy ****ing fun period of your lives....you will definitely grow as a person and as a lover and after your hell of a time is over(because don't kid yourself, it wont last forever) you will have all of your ambitious self indulgences satisfied and out of your system and therefore you will be better prepared and more likely to find/develop true love for another person and who knows...your friend with benefits might just turn out to be that person.

think about it.

btw this is coming from personal experience and people should know that this of course will not always work and it will also not work for everybody...but for some people this is exactly what needs to happen...and its pretty effin sweet if i do say so myself.

good luck out there man...remember, you're the king...lol

Um well from what you described I would say it's probably not right for you two.

You guys clicked pretty well then decided not to jeopardize your friendship... then somehow you end up in a open relationship?

Does not make any sense to me personally, as that seems far more likely to ruin a friendship than a regular relationship.

They can work if you are both suited to it, but if one or both aren't, it'll end in disaster.