THE REPO DUDES: Ninjas will reposes your house and all living things still in it if your not in 2 days hahahaha.
Carl: Dude your cat fell in to the blender i had no idea how it did it...must have been the dog.
Jesus: I just wanted to let you know that you would be "the guy" that i would first reveal my coming to earth to and that ill be by tomorrow to say hi and give all the stuff you desire in your heart. Seriously big event and if you aren't in satan and the terrorists win. P.S my dad wants to know if you can help him move the furniture next week?
Crying Lady: WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME ? You should know...I'm pregnant, their quintuplets. Well my lawyer said if you don't call with 72 hours, you have to pay alimony so cya ya ass.
Random stranger: I KILLED A GUY AND I KNOW YOU SO I CAN BLAME YOU SO YOU BETTER HELP ME MOVE THE BODY!!! Meet me at (insertrandomlocationhere)OR I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MIGHT SAY OR DO COO COO COOK COO.
Answering Machine: Um...I'm getting the hell outta here your screwed! *Little dude jumps out and runs away.
End of messages. *BEEP*