The rule states that a flame is a insult towards another member (directly or indirectly). Mods don't care who started it or how severe the other person got, if we see you flame another, we will deal the punishment. These are rules you agreed to when you signed up (in your case, not yet...but that e-mail is the confirmation that you agree to the rules whether you read them or not). The better man knows when to step down and let the other continue to make a fool of themselves. This is the internet, not real life...no need to make it into serious business.
FYI, Administrators can see all PMs/posts/blogs regardless if they were deleted or not. PWizard has deemed it and this is a privately owned site. What PWizard/Nevermore says is what goes and if you don't like it, the exit is to your left.