Throughout my childhood, my mom found everything to criticize about me and attempted with force to control how I look on the outside. It wasn't bad until I hit my teen years and my mom wanted me to go mainstream and look like I fit in. I mean I already knew I was an outcast regardless of what I looked like so I wanted the decency of being myself even if I was planning to be on the sidelines and away from everyone. Aside from what she wanted me to look like I was often the target for her stress which meant I got yelled at a lot and a lot more I don't want to say.
Nowadays she just ignores me which is an improvement. She's still cold as ever, but given up on trying to control my appearance and personality seeing as that she failed to do so. Still sad when at the point she gave up, she yelled that she would not buy any clothes for me and the it was an act of good gesture (in your words "saying I wanted it when I didn't" ). She gives the impression that she'd rather have her time than raise kids which makes me wonder why she had kids in the first place.
So yeah...my mom is not a good mother either. We should start a club.