As a moderator, I only process for TOS violations. As for your personality, it's not my position to judge someone the way they are (unless your super trolling or being bad mannered). The reason you gave is understandable especially if it's something you experience in person.
The internet provides an outlet for social communication even if you don't know the people. What you say is the truth...will I ever know that? I won't but I cannot prove it is a lie. I can be a friend at most but in reality, to be an "e-friend", I don't need to know if you're a guy or a girl or how old are you or where you live or ect. Tell us your problems and we'll try to help you whether it be by advice or just making you laugh.
Yeah I'm tough when it comes to being a mod, but that's my job. If you send me a PM about stuff I'll listen. Sometimes I may or may not like you depending how you act towards me but if I truly hate you, I'll say it to you directly without sugarcoating. If I haven't done that, I don't hate you or think ill of you. What happens between me and someone I mod is between them and the website (I don't hold a grudge against someone because they break the rules or be resistant with moderation). An example would be Jackel. He's not a friendly person and stands up to authority and likes to claim himself as a superior authority. Do I think he's stupid? Yeah I do but I don't hold a personal vendetta against him.
In short, if this is the cold hard truth about yourself, then don't think of it as being weak or anything (in fact it's the opposite). Yeah you may have made a mistake but you haven't hurt anyone in the process so it's not something to hate you for. Don't worry about it too much. Either 17 years old or 13 years old, I'll still view you as the user named "elle_sweetheart".
We are here to have fun, not to throw blame out.