I finished the last of the alcohol in my house this afternoon. There was a dribble of whiskey and two beers. I mixed them all together and chugged it. Not even a buzz.
If you've got the runs, you can eat Playdough and it'll stop them. It's essentially identical to what Kaopectate was when I was a kid--liquid clay--but without the water content.
The nearest city with a real taxi service is Chicago. I mean, all cities have taxi companies but the ones here don't drive around looking for fares like a classic taxi. You have to call them and then, if one of their four cars is available, they'll be there sometime in the next week. And then they'll render you unconscious and steal your organs.
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