In the first instance I simply push the person who stopped into traffic.

In the second instance I don't ride the underground because we don't have mass transit. 99% of American cities are not designed in a manner where mass transit can be functional.

We're generally a close family, but we do not express it.

If I call her "grandmother" she'd get the shotgun and kneecap me. But then she'd call 911 for me.

As for when I'm old... well, I REALLY don't want to live that long. Males in my family are generally exposed to terrible battlefield contaminants and therefore die from horrible things. Grandpa died from leukemia resulting from agent orange exposure. His dad was in a white star attack in WWI and ended up dying from weird organ cancers which doctors at the time said were related to the gas attack. Dad spent more time in Vietnam than grandpa did, and was also in the gulf the first time around. God knows what I was exposed to when I worked in Iraq. I'd prefer not to find out.

Plus, I have no intention of allowing any children I may have to reach maturity. I'm ****ed up enough--probably due to my dad's exposure to agent orange (the kid of one of my dad's friends has the same problems I have and his dad was also exposed)--I don't need to spread my ****ed up genes.